Okay everyone - according to the office of the provost, we need to stay safe after the attempted kidnapping on campus the other day. That's actually very true - we certainly don't want to be kidnapped and will take all precautions to ensure we're not. In case you didn't know, we need to use the 'buddy system' when 'venturing into the city'. News to us. Seems like trails through the woods would be more prone to random attacks than a city filled with people all around you, but what the hell do we know?

We're definitely staying off that sketchy trail behind wood hall though. The main concrete trail is way more convenient - we can check out all the hot 1Ls sitting in front of the bunker waiting for class to start.

We have a few surprises from that 1L karaoke party. We hear the Dean sang after having a money showdown with another prof. Sorry we missed that. Now let's get to the interesting stuff. Apparently two female law students made out that night. And one of them was trying to make out with the other girls at the party - one wasn't enough for her! Also, anyone else see that 3L hooking up with some dude? And she's married! To someone else!

Apparently we have our own Britney on campus. One of the 2Ls was seen flashing her hooha when getting up from her chair in the LRC. Yikes - too bad she's not one of the hot chicks.

What is up with the use of the word 'like'? Doesn't everyone realize that they sound like dumbasses when every other word out of their mouth is 'like'? We are on a mission to ban the inappropriate use of this word. Please, like, join us!

OMG - we just found out that the new Dean has banned booze from campus. What is up with that??? We demand a mob to protest this awful declaration.

UPDATE: Hadas informed us that the Dean HAS NOT banned alcohol. Yeehaw! Thank goodness - we'll need everything we can get to help us get through BizAzz.

What's with the damn babies at our school? Now our #2 has gotten preggers. Ick. I swear she just wants to be the new Jen Garner or Gwen (or, god love her, Britney). Evs. Too bad her "condition" precludes her from doing the fabulous yellow pod happy hour that she's been talking about for the last semester.

Oh, and we hear that B.T. may be in trouble with something - you have to guess what it is because we don't want to get sued. It's pretty damn good though and we hope you figure it out.

Congratulations to CT for having her HUUUGE blob baby yesterday. Hopefully she makes it back to school soon, although we know you are all secretly hoping this cuts into her study time so you can get better grades. Heartless bastards.